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Article Source: msnbc.comCertainly is comforting to see an adult child love and care about a parent.
How important the relationship is with those that love you. Too many times, I virtually see nothing by hate and dismissal of the elderly parents. No phone calls. No letters. No visits. No knowledge from day-to-day, if even the elderly parent is well, eating or even alive!
An elderly female friend is now in rehab, following knee replacement surgery. Out of three sons, one in VA calls her on the phone, but won't let Mom ever move-in with him. (His wife has serious mental issues towards the mother-in-law). Second son, lives three hours away from Mom and visits her, when his conscience finally gets to him. He also, won't let Mom even move near him, as she struggles to survive.
Sonny boy in San Diego, married the second wife, and will not even call Mom. Mom's tears lie behind her blinking eyes and then she just moves them aside with a quick witted joke on life. A lovely lady with a good sense of humor that tried to end her life, Christmas time one year ago. The "children" like so many others miss out on the best part of their being.....the woman who gave them birth...and loves them.
#1 - Fri Feb 17, 2012 11:42 PM ESTBeen there-spent 19 days in a hospital in Dec/early Jan. No one came to see me during the holidays and I had only 1 visit in the entire 19 days. 4 grown kids, nine grand kids-some of whom are adults didn't come. I never missed a game or recital, school play or function regardless of how bad I was feeling or how long I had been at work or how long I had to drive to make it I paid for trips and opportunities and for what? I certainly have decided to do things differently and I have definitely changed my will. Good for Mom Cobert- your boy gets it.
#2 - Sat Feb 18, 2012 12:41 AM ESTMy "wild card" button is abuse towards anyone...adult kids towards their parents....parents towards their children...spousal abuse....elder abuse in facilities. I do not handle my anger issues very well, when I encounter those situations. For me to "get why" is very difficult, for like you many of us adored our children and would do anything possible to show them a better way, that would save some of those hard bruises that we had endured as we walked down many rock-filled roads.
I worked with abused women for a short time....I have also done some work with seniors that were being financially scammed. My advise was to cling hopefully to the children, when in need. For so many that was not possible. The alternative is to "create" a family from friends of all ages, if possible.
The idea of a "buddy-system", where there is someone who "knows" you and your wishes, is invaluable. But, then that is a problem for so many today, also. Just trying to find someone to trust????
I live by the theory in all relationships, that if one does not care about me, while I am kicking and screaming, then do not bother after I am quiet....it will be too late!
Lucky Mrs. Colbert and others that have that love and respect from their children. By choices, we can decide who is important in our lives, as well as decide why they are important.
The generations today coming into their mid-years, will be treated by their children, as they have treated their older parents. What a cold world we live in.....w/o anyone making an effort to warm it up.
#3 - Sat Feb 18, 2012 1:01 AM ESTYou're in Easy Mode. If you prefer, you can use XHTML Mode instead. |
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